The Ben Franklin Effect

Ben Franklin once wrote "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged."

In psychology we just finished studying insufficient justification, a part of cognitive dissonance, which is the uncomfortable feeling we get when do something that goes against how we truly feel. In other words, our behavior doesn't jive with our attitudes. And we feel kind of guilty. And I think it's pretty neat.

There are 3 ways that people cope with the discomfort:
1. Changing our beliefs to justify our behavior
2. Adding new beliefs to justify our behavior
and 3. Changing our behavior

Anyways, Ben Franklin once asked a man (who hated him) to lend him a book, without giving him anything for it. And as the man started liking him more, he observed the phenomenon that by borrowing from him, he was increasing relations faster than if he would have done the lending. Thus - the Ben Franklin Effect.

The theory is that since the man couldn't justify his behavior externally (i.e. in exchange for money, trading for something, etc), he justified it internally by subconsciously convincing himself that Ben was a good guy.

When I heard about this, I took a look at how he must have felt. It must have been nice to start liking somebody you hated before and all it took was the first act of kindness. Next time I come across somebody who I know has a bad taste for me, I'll simply do like ol Ben and ask to borrow something like a book. Or a dollar, their iPod, car, whatever - you get the point.

Personally, there was somebody in my life who avoided me at all costs a year ago and now they're a good friend. I realize now that I did this, asking for a small favor here or there, and things just took off from that. Pretty neat, huh? The only thing about this whole theory I don't like though, is that it leaves out God. Does anybody have a story like this?

~nick

"I did not ... aim at gaining his favour by paying any servile respect to him but, after sometime, took this other method. Having heard that he had in his library a certain very scarce and curious book I wrote a note to him expressing m desire of perusing that book and requesting he would do me the favour of lending it to me for a few days. He sent it immediately and I returned it in about a week with another note expressing strongly my sense of the favour. When we next met in the House he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and with great civility; and he ever after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends and our friendship continued to his death. This is another instance of the truth of an old maxim I had learned, which says, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged." -Ben Franklin

*Note: the photo at the top is a painting of Benjamin Franklin by Jean-Baptiste Greuze

Ferrets For Obama

I just read some articles about American Ferrets. It seems they are endorsing Obama in the upcoming campaign.

>>>Local ferrets have decided to endorse Barack Obama, reports say. The turning point came recently when Obama proclaimed, "I'm skinny but I'm tough." In past presidential campaigns, ferrets have endorsed Zippy the Skunk, Harold the Happy Otter, and Abraham Lincoln.
Referenced from http://weazoe.blogspot.com/2008/03/local-ferrets-endorse-obama.html

I also found some nice buttons for sale on the web:


http://magnets.cafepress.com/item/ferrets-for-obama-magnet/302737822

http://cgi.ebay.com/FERRET-for-OBAMA-button-democrat-campaign-pin-sable_W0QQitemZ350102185286QQcmdZViewItemQQimsxZ20080926?IMSfp=TL080926157010r6000

Chemo 2008, Session 2, Round 1 (Sep. 26)

Well I did my first chemo of the month today. It's crazy. I went to the hospital yesterday just to confirm that everything was ready for me to start chemotherapy today and found out that I wasn't even in the system, so they contacted my doctor and put me in the system and gave me an appointment sheet as proof.

This morning I went in and they took blood and started an IV and took me to my room. I sat there for 2 and 1/2 hours until I got the chemo because my doctor wasn't around to sign the order sheet to get the medicine. Anyways, after I kept bugging everybody to get the order through (I didn't want to have to reschedule and take another day off school), a resident doctor named Deb came by and tried to tell me that I had a PET scan scheduled for October. I asked her the results from the one I took in August. She told me that I didn't have a PET scan in August. I kindly smiled and told her the opposite. She told me well, it wasn't ordered by us, it must have been a CT scan. I thought about it and said no, I had a Positron Emission Tomography scan on August 26th and that it was ordered by my doctor. She left in a huff.

She came back 10 minutes later and told me that she got the results from the PET scan I took in August. I said the one on August 26th, right. She looked at the date, said yes, and gave me the results of that and all the other tests I've had in the past month. I tried to make her feel better and told her that I've been to the hospital a lot in the past month and it's probably confusing to look at my recent rap sheet... then I was glad to get her to smile. The employees there are pretty busy sometimes. The way I see it, they're all basically caretakers with different numbers on their pay stubs.

Anyways I met a man who seemed to be in his 80s. His name was Dan Bennett and his son was there to take care of him. Another man was in the room and his name was Gary. He was there with his daughter and his wife, Doris. Dan is from Elkins and Gary is from Fairmont.

Dan was diagnosed with colon cancer 3 years ago and was in remission when they recently discovered a large brain tumor that they couldn't surgically remove. He slept a lot today during treatment. Gary was about 60 and was in remission with bladder cancer, but it spread to his lungs recently. They tried to do radiation on his lungs and burnt them bad so now he is constantly hooked up to an oxygen tank. He was very cynical so his whining came with a smirk. It turns out that he was in the 459th ENG BN out of Clarksburg and knew Jim Green, the General Manager of MUB (the guy who gave me a job), back in 1971 when he joined. Jim was a platoon leader then. He's a retired light colonel now.

It ended up that I was there until 6 o'clock and Michelle came and we went to the trail and walked 4 miles. My leg hurt a lot but I can fake it pretty well. Then we came back to my place and I cooked fish and rice with broccoli and salads. I snagged a couple diet cokes from the cancer center so we could drink these at dinner. I cooked the fish in a lot of butter that I mixed with some canola oil, so I could cook the butter a long time without burning it. I diced a clove of garlic and simmered it in the butter and threw in some black pepper and cooked the fish in this while I cooked the rice with cumin and diced broccoli. The rice was really tasty with the butter sauce from the fish. I feel like I ate too much though because the salad filled me up before I even got to the heavy stuff.

For dessert I cooked some blueberry muffin mix. I used nonfat dry milk and it still turned out great. Couldn't find the muffin pan so I just sprayed a pyrex dish and poured the batter in the bottom. Mom came home right before it was done and I cut squares out and they were good. Mom went to the movies and the Cracker Barrel with a singles group from the local megachurch. She looked nice.
I hope she met some good people.
Now it's time to recharge for another revolution.

My Utmost For His Highest - September 26, 2008

The "Go" of Reconciliation

This one is pretty straight forward.
1. We start with peace of mind and "heroic spirit of self-sacrifice"
2. Sudden restraint by the Spirit
3. Stopping at conviction
4. Obedience to Word of God
5. "Glad, simple, unhindered" offering of our gift
6. Return to number 1

I like when he says "Go back the way you came; it is not a matter of your rights. The true mark of the saint is that he can waive his own rights and obey the Lord Jesus."
He seems to be pointing out that we need to waive our rights frequently. I'm guessing permanently.

Life Sciences Building

For some reason I feel like God is pushing me to be active at the LSB. I've told my friend Ous that I hate going to psychology class, solely due to the location. When I'm there I feel like I'm in the lion's den - like I'm surrounded by godless people and honestly, it feels as if satan is attacking me there.
So today I got a couple guy's emails in my psyc class and I'm thinking I might be able to slowly show them how God is working in my life. Maybe I can influence them to believe. Maybe I can be an influence for them to transform.
Maybe something can start there, something that lasts forever.

I'll just have to keep listening...

My Utmost For His Highest - September 25, 2008

The "Go" of Relationship

"41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." -Matt. 5:41-42

"15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other." -John 15:15-17

I'm not gonna lie; I had to read this devotion a few times. Oswald gets pretty deep. I think my favorite sentence here is: "No amount of enthusiasm will ever stand up to the strain that Jesus Christ will put upon His servant."

Anyways, I think what he's trying to say is that we need to get to the point where not only are we being disciples, but that we can do it without consciously trying. And the only way to do this is to remain in His love by obeying His commands. In John 15:11, Jesus tells us the reason is that "my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

In his last paragraph, Oswald sums up his message that God doesn't mean for us to get comfortable in our service - that He doesn't ask us to do what's "naturally easy for us", only what we're "perfectly fit to do through His grace, and that is where the cross we must bear will always come."

I'm guessing that the "cross we must bear" is a symbol of doing something necessarily difficult, but I wonder if he means it comes from God's grace, or the fact that He asks us to perform against our nature. Does anybody want to share what they think?

My Utmost For His Highest - September 24, 2008

"Never disregard a conviction that the Holy Spirit brings to you. If it is important enough for the Spirit of God to bring it to your mind, it is the very thing He is detecting in you."

Today's devotion is a big reminder for me. Though the Scripture says "first be reconciled to your brother" (Matt 5:24), it obviously implies any conviction the Spirit brings to your attention.

The 'preparation' Oswald spoke of is obvious and he inspires us to give up anything that isn't worthy of the Lord. "Your sense of heroic sacrifice is not good enough."

"The "go" of preparation is to allow the Word of God to examine you closely."

I'm gonna hafta let God supervise the cleaning and I'm gonna need a large dumpster to chuck all the trash in.